This is an excerpt from the memoirs of a Mad Scientist. It was the inspiration behind the song “Mad Scientist” on my album Mad Scientist PHD. Click the image below to download from iTunes.

In these journals I intend to tell the stories of my years as, and becoming, the scientist I’m known as today. As I tell each tale, I ask you to be the judge of whether or not I should be persecuted for my science.

As a Scientist, I used to make sure that every nurse, no matter how pretty, always washed her hands. This was mandatory, as was the use of hairnets, not just for the pretty nurses with long hair, but those with short locks as well. Even if there was blood in the lab from a patient or beastly experiment, or a terrible smell coming from some chemical concoction, I was very particular about hygiene in the lab.

Over the years I’ve had approximately twenty laboratories that I’ve run. Many were funded by the government, some privately and eventually I had to fund them on my own. Each and every one of these labs was destroyed in some way. They exploded, burned, melted, one actually vanished into thin air (I could explain what happened using physics and equations, but most of you would not understand it and the rest wouldn’t believe it, so I use the term “thin air” for simplicity). Every time a lab went down it was a setback that only meant progress. How can science move forward without mistakes? How can we go right if we don’t know how we went wrong?

In the twenty labs that I’ve worked and lived, I’ve done some miraculous things, some of which I’m going to share in the entries yet to come. Although, I’ve blown some of these buildings to smithereens, I’ve performed open heart surgery, full heart transplants and even some half heart transplants (where they needed just a part of a heart). I say this so that you’ll keep in mind that there where failures and triumphs. Which outweighs which is the question.